First contact - Adoption Agency

Contacting the adoption agency was as simple as filling in a form on the website with an email address and a telephone number. The excitement was palpable. The rest of the day was speant devouring online content about the adoption process. Reading every line of every page of the adoption agency website, twice. For the first time in years, June and Bill were excited about the possibility of having a child. Anxious about being assessed, nervous about the process and how long it might take, but excited.

They didn't have to wait long to hear back.

Day 2

The day after sending the enquiry they received a response from the adoption agencies training and development officer. She had booked them onto an adoption information event in 10 days time. At the time this felt like an eternity to wait for the next steps. Little did they understand at the time that the biggest thing the adoption process will teach you is patience.

Day 7

Everyone handles their adoption journey different. For June and Bill, it was going to be important to be open about their journey and to be able to share it with those around them. So on day 7, before they had even attending the adoption information event, they each shared with a sibling that they were looking to adopt. Looking back at it now, they feel this might have been a bit early. However they also recognise that for them, in that moment, it was what they needed to do. For some people it would be way too soon. For them though, it gave them the support they needed. They knew following these conversations that they had no reason to be worried about how friends and family might react to an adopted child - something that had been a real concern for them, and something they learnt throughout the process is a concern for many people. The good news is, it is very rarely something people actually need to be concerned about.

Day 11

The day of the adoption information evening. Their pre-reading and previous attendance at a similar event for fostering meant they were well informed ahead of the event. Even so they found the event useful. There was lots of information about the adoption process, and lots of expectation setting. It may have been the way some of the information was delivered throughout the event, but they came away feeling like the event was designed to be an eye opener for people who were going in with rose tinted glasses about how and why children are available to adopt.

One interesting thing to come out during the event that they were not aware of was the recommendation to wait 6 months after a bereavement. Just 3 months prior Junes mom had passed away quite suddenly. They chatted after the meeting and agreed that although it was clearly signifcant and had impacted them both greatly, they did not feel that the loss of June’s mom was a factor in their decision to adopt. They therefore agreed that they wanted to push forward to the next stage if the agency would let them.

They knew the next step was to complete a form and have an initial visit from a social worker. This sent them into planning mode. Making a list of all the jobs and things that they had put off doing but now wanted to ensure were done as soon as possible. Both to start getting the house ready for a future little one, and to make a good impression on the social workers! Finally, they agreed they needed to work together to lose weight. If they were going to be parents, they wanted to get themselves fit, ready, and able to run around after a little one.

Day 12

Bill woke up with a severe pain in one of his feet. Turned out it was gout. If deciding to proceed with the adoption process hadn't been enough to prepare him to seriously lose weight, adding this in certainly made sure he was serious!

Gout treatment taken. Enquiry form received, completed, and returned. Diet plan formulated. Start weight measured and goal weight identified.

Day 34

Bills weight loss journey is going well having lost 20lbs already. June's weight loss is slower, but is also headed in the right direction. They visited their local gym today and signed up for membership. They have agreed to go together twice a week and hold each other accountable to going. They are also going to so separately a third time a week where June wants to do a class and Bill is sticking with running and weights.

It has been almost two weeks since they returned their enquiry form and they haven't heard from the adoption agency. They send a follow up email and are told they should hear something back no later than Wednesday the following week.

Day 39

As promised they received an email from a social worker at the adoption agency who arranged to visit them at home. Unfortunatley this wouldn't be for another 39 days!

Day 66

During a catch up with their friends, the ones that are expecting the twins, June and Bill shared the news that they were looking into the adoption process. As always they were anxious about telling them, but they were overjoyed to hear their news and agreed to provide references for them.

Day 68

After what felt like an incredibly long wait, the day had arrived where they were going to meet the social worker. Bills weight loss had gone exceptionally well, having lost 45lb already. June had also done far better in her weight loss than she had expected, but not to the same level as Bill. At this stage she begins to consider using a GLP1 injection as research has shown it is particularly effective for those with PCOS.

The meeting with the social worker went well. They had thought the person they were meeting was going to be their social worker throughout the process, but this turned out not to be the case as she was going to retire soon after. They were disappointed as she was lovely and they felt they would have a good rapport with her. The meeting it self was quite straight forward. She asked a bit more June and Bill, talked them through the process again, and had a look around their house. The social worked confirmed as she left that she was recommendeding they be invited to start stage 1.

This meant that the next step for June and Bill was to complete a “registration of interest” form which would be sent to them shortly. After that there would be training, references, financial checks, DBS check, other background checks, employment checks, and a medical. The whole stage one process would likely take 2 months.